which way wonder

Nothing pulls the rug out from under us quite like heartbreak. I recently read a quote from Jack Kerouac that for me perfectly captures the echoes of heartbreak that sometimes stay with us long after the actual injury is suffered: “A pain stabbed my heart as it did every time I saw a person I loved who was going the opposite direction in this too-big world.” Not only does it pull the rug out but it leaves us questioning so many things, perhaps most strikingly the direction we are going in. I have only been in love once but the experience had set my mind and heart on a course that seemed to be the be all and end all. Suffice to say when it all went off the rails I felt like I was having to start from ground zero again. What’s more I experienced a profound sense of direction lost – where to now? Who has a plan B on file when they are in love?

In falling in love I made a fool of myself and learnt from experience that as James Gibbons Huneker said, “He who dares to be a fool takes the first step in the direction of wisdom.” From one day to the next I had to make the decision not to be an intelligent fool. Albert Einstein said, “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex… It takes a touch of genius – and a lot of courage to move in the opposite direction.” I was fortunate enough to be surrounded by amazing friends who reminded me that my heart would heal and that even the most impossible of messes can be cleaned up by grace over time.

Perhaps most importantly I’ve had to allow myself to dream again, to let hope rekindle in my heart, trusting that Henry David Thoreau was speaking from experience when he said, “I have learned, that if one advances confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life he has imagined, he will meet with a success unexpected in common hours.”

PS. I will post again today so that we can all check out of heartbreak hotel before the weekend gets started xxx

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