To my finite mind you often seem infinite: filled with riches, wonders and an endless supply of the new, just waiting to be explored. And yet all around me I see signs that you too are struggling under the burden of time. Rust creeps through the shiny things I thought were forever and I find myself face to face with the question: Where do I find true riches?
This may seem like a selfish and unecessary question so I will try and explain where I am coming from. I have heard it said that where your treasure is your heart will also be and that we should guard our hearts because they are wellsprings of life. If my primary treasures are the way I look, the material resources I have at my disposal, the number of boxes I tick on the “ideal thirty-something woman living in an urban jungle” list and whether or not I have arrived at the point where I think everybody around me expects me to be, then I am basically telling my heart to go play in rush hour traffic.
I may get a handle on one or more or even all of these so-called treasures, but they are fickle shapeshifters and to chase them is to set yourself up for a life of exhaustion and dissapointment. Sure, there will be those exhilirating highs where for a moment all the balls are suspended in the air and you say to yourself: “I got this.” But as soon gravity hits the party you find yourself staring at the scatterings on the floor wondering how they all add up to the person you know yourself to be.
Who am I? What do I want my life to be made of? My answer: Eternal things. Things that are built to last.
I made a list:
Kindness | Patience | Wisdom | Generosity | Grace | Gratitude | Faith | Hope | Love
The greatest of these is love. At the ripe old age of 30 going on 31 I am learning to love myself. My hope is that in the process I will be able to love others more truly than I ever have.
The illustration featured in this post is by Stephanie Cruywagen. You can find more of her work on tumblr and instagram.